Our Youngest (Part 3 of 3)

G was napping while J and I finished up lunch. My phone got a text notification so I gazed at it shortly to see who it was from. It was from J's biological grandmother so I picked it up to see what it said. "Would you and Tim be open to adopting again?" I stared at it for a while puzzled and then replied, "Yes, we've talked about it." After a number of texts back-n-forth, tears started streaming down my face. J asked, "What's wrong, Mommy?"

Nothing was wrong. Instead, I had learned on that mundane day that we might be becoming a family of 5. There were conversations that needed to happen first, though. I called Tim and told him the information I knew. He was on board immediately! After that, I called Tim's sister who also happens to be an adoption consultant to see what our next steps were. We'd been through an adoption before, but that was through foster care. Adoption through a private match is a completely different world.

• Find an agency 
• Pay for and complete a home study
• Fundraise
• Apply for grants
• Find a lawyer
• Annnnnnd wait. 

The due date came and went, which was all too familiar. However, this time it wasn't my body. I couldn't schedule to be induced because it's her body and her choice. After a couple weeks past the due date, Mama E decided it was time. She gave us the time that she would be induced and graciously invited us to be there. It was evening which then turned into night time. We wanted to give her privacy but also didn't want to miss the birth so we stayed in the waiting room nearby. 

Night turned into those early morning hours and still no baby. Mama E was exhausted from laboring all night and trying to push for about an hour. Around 6 A.M. we were told by staff to go get some breakfast as they were giving her a little more time to rest before she'd start pushing again.

We found a vending machine and ate some granola bars while staring off in silence. Tim is the calm one of us but he was clearly struggling with the intensity of the situation. We quite literally had no control and had to fully trust in God like never before. We rested in those few quiet moments and then decided to head back up. 

As we approached Mama E's room, she made eye contact with us. She gleefully asked, "Did you see HER yet!?! She's down in the nursery!" We hadn't know the gender of the baby because the ultrasounds were not clear enough. So when my husband heard it was a girl he was so overcome with joy that tears soaked his cheeks. He had longed for a daughter. It was more then just "a daughter would be nice", but truly something I believe God planted in his heart. 

We were escorted to the nursery and there was E screaming her sweet little head off. We each took one of her hands and she wrapped her tiny fingers around ours. I gently whispered in a rhythmic way, "Shh..Shh..Shh" over and over until she finally settled (and to this day, that "shh...shh..shh" still soothes her). 

Mama E was transferred to the postpartum unit with E and she again graciously invited us to stay. She held E for awhile and then said, "Ok, it's your turn to hold your daughter!"

                       

All three of us relished in how adorable E was and took turns feeding, holding, and smiling at her. Evening was setting in and we made the decision to get a hotel for the night. This not only allowed for us to get some sleep after 24 hours of no sleep, but it also allowed Mama E and E some sacred time together. Was it hard? Absolutely. However, this one night away will never compare to how hard it was for Mama E to leave us with E the next morning.

This is where selflessness and bravery are on full display in Mama E. The next morning, she was discharged. She was wheeled out of the hospital with her eyes full of tears and her arms empty. In that moment, Tim and I had no words. What could we say? Thank you isn't enough. So all we could do was embrace her.

We stayed at the hospital with E for the rest of the day and she was discharged the following morning. We headed home to introduce her to two boys who were eagerly waiting for her arrival. Once we got home, the boys were magnets to her. Those few minutes were the best of my life - seeing how excited they both were and how J (who can talk your ear off) was speechless with a permanent smile on his face. Contentment filled my soul because I knew E made our family complete.

+ If you are interested in learning more about adoption and the services we provide at Christian Adoption Consultants, I would love to chat! Feel free to email me at meg@christianadoptionconsultant.com. +

Our Oldest (Part 1 of 3)

It was a typical winter day. There was a dusting of snow on the ground and we were out running errands. We were on our way home when Tim's phone rang with an unfamiliar number. When Tim answered, his face immediately changed. I could see him processing some very shocking information, but I didn't know what it was. He finally said, "A 3 month old baby boy?" I knew right then that this was it. Ten days earlier we had received our foster care license and it was actually happening in that moment. Tim asked the caller for a moment to discuss the details with me, put his hand over the phone, and looked at me wide-eyed. He stated, "They have a 3-month-old baby boy and they are on their way to our home if we accept." We had always wondered how easy or difficult it would be to pull the trigger and accept our first placement. Without even thinking, I replied, "Of course! Yes, oh my gosh. This is happening, Tim!" All Tim could do was smile and relay our answer. 

We rushed home and Tim sprinted to the garage to gather all the items we had stocked up for a baby. (Funny fact: He was running so fast that he ended up needing a puff of his inhaler!) While he was doing that, I sorted all the items and called my sister to ask, “What do 3 month old babies do? Do they eat food? Do they play with toys?” She chuckled and said, “Nope, they basically still do everything a newborn does. Sleep, eat, and poop.” 

Our home was a mess with all the chaos of trying to organize our items and then trying to figure out what we still needed. We decided to wait until the baby arrived before one of us would go shopping for the other things we knew he’d need. We sat at our dining room table and stared out the window. I can take myself back so easily to the feelings of anticipation and excitement while sitting there waiting for the car to come. Tim and I didn’t do much talking, but when we did it was: 

“Can you believe this is happening?”

“I wonder what he looks like.”

Then suddenly the car pulled in our driveway. Tim went out and helped carry J in. He was sound asleep in the car seat so Tim placed the car seat on the couch. Tim took off the blanket that was over top and there he was—a beautiful baby boy with more hair than Tim could ever dream of! It was love at first sight. The paperwork was filled out and we were given the court date, then the caseworker left.

Tim took J over to the Christmas tree and his eyes lit up! Tim started crying and in front of the Christmas tree we fell to our knees, embraced with J in the middle of us, and wept tears of joy and sorrow. Joy because it now made sense why we felt called into foster care. It was for him. All of the classes, applications, paperwork, interviews, phone calls, tough conversations, and prayers were for J. I remember in that moment saying, “He is the reason. He is it.” In the midst of the joy, though, there was sorrow. Sorrow for what he so obviously endured. 

Soon after, J was clearly getting hungry. I remember feeding him that first bottle. As he guzzled it down, he stared directly in my eyes and I stared directly back at him—this was the moment that I became a mother.

+ If you are interested in learning more about adoption and the services we provide at Christian Adoption Consultants, I would love to chat! Feel free to email me at meg@christianadoptionconsultant.com. +

Being a Boymom & My Daughter

I thought that I was destined to be a boymom.

I used to have bike races and dig in the dirt with the neighborhood boys and all through school most of my closest friends were boys. They were easy to get along with and didn't have all the complexities of what many female friendships often brought. They accepted me for me, cause let's be honest - I can be quirky.

I've also always been a daddy's girl. We'd shoot hoops, work on landscape sites together, pretend we were in the WWE (I claimed Sting, while he claimed Hulk Hogan), and watch OSU beat Michigan year after year. I guess, I was what some would call a tomboy. 

Females were intimidating to me and many times I felt unaccepted by them. So, being a boymom felt comfortable. It's what I knew and what came easy to me. 

But then, she entered my world in late June. 

A girl means periods and prom dresses and boobs and body image and wedding dresses and hormones...all things that I stumbled through, at best. Can you tell that I was nervous!? Overjoyed, yes. But, nervous too.

However, this adorable and squishy girl has decided that I'm her favorite person. Me? She's only three months old, but nonetheless I am her favorite. I never would have imagined that I'd have a mama's girl on my hands. It is such a welcomed and sweet surprise! 

She gives me these whole body smiles and I continually feel lucky that I have a daughter. God knew I would have her as my daughter and when she looks at me for what a woman is, I hope she finds a woman who is confident in being imperfect and at ease in Jesus. I pray that she finds her value in Him and that she sees her beauty in being kind. 

And I realize she'll most likely turn into a daddy's girl. For now, though, I'm soaking her up! 

+ If you are interested in learning more about adoption and the services we provide at Christian Adoption Consultants, I would love to chat! Feel free to email me at meg@christianadoptionconsultant.com. +

Our Village & Joining Our Story

We've all heard the phrase, "It takes a village" and I've found that to be true time and time again in our parenting journey. I'm reminded of those who brought meals when Jacob was first placed in our home, those who prayed over us when we were struggling with the unknowns of the foster care system, those who helped us celebrate in the courthouse when his adoption was finalized, those who offered reassurance when I doubted my ability to actually birth a baby, and again those who came around us in countless ways when Griffin was born. You are our village. 

Jacob and Griffin have both stretched our faith. With Jacob, we learned to trust God with the unknowns and the timing. With Griffin, we learned to trust God with forming a baby in my womb and to protect us during complications. With this precious baby who we have the privilege of adopting, we are learning to trust that God will provide. He's shown Himself to be faithful already as we've been blown away by the generosity of those who have offered to donate items, time, resources, and talents to help us meet our fundraising goal. You, our village, have been Jesus to us.  

If you would like to join our story, here are some practical ways you can help us in the coming days.

First, we covet your prayers. Will you join us in praying for the continued health of the baby, peace for the expectant parents, and for a safe delivery?

We also have some fun fundraising events coming up: 

February 4-10: Facebook Auction (Click the link to join!)

February 19-25: Jamberry Online Party (Click the link to join!)

For those local, be on the lookout for these events coming up:

March 31, 5-9 P.M.: Bountiful Blessings Event (Adults Only. Tickets will be available February 1st for $20 which includes food, drinks, and one raffle ticket. There are only 40 tickets available.)

May 7, 10-11:30 A.M.: Mother's Day Photo Session by Dana Clover Photography (A suggested donation of $40 includes a 10 minute mini-session and 2 digital images. There will also be a gallery available of 5-10 images for those interested in purchasing more. Space limited.)

We have an exciting opportunity coming up to share our story and for people to give tax-deductible donations. You'll see more of that in the coming days!

Memory Lane & Adopting Again

We're thrilled to share some huge news for our family, but let's walk down memory lane first. Our story began just ten days after becoming licensed foster parents in 2012, we received the call that made us parents. There was a baby boy headed our way if we said yes. We said yes without hesitation and two hours later, Jacob was in our arms (read more about that day here). Jacob instantly had our hearts and we allowed ourselves to fully attach. I mean, how could we not? He was so freaking cute!

Two years later, we were given the opportunity through his birth mama's selfless love to adopt him. That day was hard. I'll never forget standing in the court room and hearing her say "yes" to allowing us to parent Jacob. My heart broke for her as she cried her way through answering questions no mother imagines herself answering. We went home that bittersweet day and started the process of adoption. A few months later and almost two years exactly from when we first met him, Jacob officially became a Weston on December 18, 2014 (view a video of that special day here). Upon the banging of the gavel, Tim and I both breathed a sigh of deep relief that we hadn't known for 733 days.

Little did our family know, we found out just a few weeks before that we were also expecting. The day after Jacob's adoption, we announced to the family that we were pregnant by having Jacob wear a customized t-shirt stating that he was going to be a big brother. Talk about an emotional couple of days! Fast forward 9 months later and 18 hours of labor, I pushed we welcomed Griffin into our family. This boy is such a ham and has turned into Jacob's little shadow. We love watching them becoming not only brothers, but friends.

Around Griffin's first birthday, we started discussing the way we would like to grow our family. We both agreed that we would like to adopt again but weren't sure how that would look. We simply knew we were open to it and felt led to build our family through adoption again. I had done some research as far as waiting children and private adoptions but never got that this is "right" feeling. I attributed it to timing. I remember getting this overwhelming sense when we were starting the foster care journey that it was the right time. We weren't getting that sense this time and so we decided to wait until we sensed God telling us move forward.

That sense of God wanting us to move forward has come.

We've cherished the relationship with Jacob's biological family over the years. We had our first family dinner together in the winter of 2013 and our relationship has only grown since. We have welcomed them into our home, they come to birthday parties, we meet up often (pumpkin patches, children's museums, arcades...to name a few), and we stay in contact through Facebook and texting regularly. It's a relationship that started with our common bond of Jacob but has grown into a true family. They aren't just Jacob's family, they are our family. So when they told us that Jacob's birth mama was due in June with another precious baby, we congratulated her as we would with any other family member. Soon after, we were told that she has {selflessly} decided to make an adoption plan and wants that to be in our home with Jacob. Without hesitation, we have said yes!

We can't tell you how excited we are about the possibility of adopting Jacob's biological sibling.  We will be sharing more of our journey here (along with a gender reveal soon!) and ways you can be a part of our story.  Thanks for sharing our joy as we prepare to open our home again to adoption!

Bouncing Back & Expectations

I can still remember sitting on our guest room bed as my husband took our jaundice newborn son to a doctor appointment a few days after returning home from the hospital. I wept. My mother came in and gently sat beside me. She asked me what was going on and I replied, "Why don't I feel better yet? Why is this taking ME so long? I can't even go to a simple doctor appointment. I see some women who are out and about days after giving birth!" Words of wisdom poured from her mouth as a woman who had been through this. She said, "Every woman is different with a different birth experience. There are some women who bounce back so easily. I sure wasn't one of them either! It's okay. I mean, really, it hasn't even been a week yet. Be patient with yourself and stop comparing."

But here I am on the other side of a complicated recovery that led to PTSD and PPD/PPA. This week I'm weaning off the anti-anxiety medication and that newborn son will be 11 months in a couple weeks.

To the woman who isn't bouncing back like she expected, know that I've been there. Please know that it's okay and you're still a superb mother. And as a wise woman told me, be patient with yourself and stop comparing. It has taken me 11 months to fully bounce back and it might take you longer or shorter. It's your postpartum journey. Just like everyone has a different birthing experience, we all have a different postpartum experience. Accept yours. Appreciate that your body did a miraculous thing that takes time to recover from, some more than others.

The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. - Deuteronomy 31:8

Exclusively Pumping & How I Maintained My Sanity

I went into breastfeeding with the best of intentions, but also knowing that it often doesn't go smoothly. "Doesn't go smoothly" is such an understatement.

I ended up with some complications during recovery that left me severely anemic which also left me severely tired. I tried, though. In fact, right when he came out I tried to feed him. It wasn't too successful so they let the lactation consultant know that I wanted guidance. The lactation consultant was in my room about every three hours to help us (side note: thank God for her because she actually was the one who sounded the alarm on my complications). G didn't know how to suckle and so she did some techniques to help him get the hang of it. She did a wonderful job and I felt somewhat confident leaving the hospital that we could work through this.

We got home and we continued to try. To be honest, I was hurting a lot. He was screaming at my breast a lot. I cried a lot while trying. There are so many women who work through this and I commend them! You ladies are warriors! I, however, quit. I quit and that's okay.

This is where the glorious pump comes in! I started pumping every two hours religiously. This was time consuming, but it beat fighting my newborn for hours on end to breastfeed. At first I would get a total of about 3 ounces per pump, but as I continued the volume continued to increase. I pumped every two hours for 10 weeks and it was brutal at times. I felt like a diary cow. No, I was a diary cow. It paid off though because I began getting about 9-12 ounces per pump, which allowed me to begin a stockpile. A stockpile that would not only feed my baby, but has also fed five other babies (check out human milk for human babies). Once I had a good stockpile, I started pumping every 3 hours for weeks 10-16, then every 4 hours for weeks 16-18, and now I'm doing every 5 hours.

I want to encourage those who are just starting to exclusively pump that you can do this. It's hard but you can do it. It's one of those things that really does get better over time.

Equipment you need to get started:

1. Pump with vehicle adapter (Insurance will cover a pump but you'll still have to buy the adapter.)
    Yep, you'll be pumping in the vehicle. I've pumped going down the highway and in parking lots. Considering this, you might want to consider a cover if it makes you uncomfortable to have truck drivers see you pumping.

2. Extra storage bottles

3. Storage bottles with nipples
    There are slow flow nipples available for younger babies.

4. Freezer bags
    Another option is to use zipper lock bags and freeze the breast milk in trays. Once the milk is frozen you can pop it out and store in the zipper lock bags. It's more cost effective!

5. And let's be honest, you'll need a deep freeze. Or at least some one who will let you store your stock pile in their deep freeze.

Now, let's talk suction cup fit. It's incredibly important! I was using the wrong size for the first, ehhhh, 10 weeks? There were blisters. I finally reached out to my sister-in-law, who also happens to be an amazing lactation consultant, and she suggested that I look into a different size. That made a world of difference and so did lanolin.

To conclude, I'm a fan of fed babies. Breastfed, breastfed through a bottle, tube fed, and formula fed because fed babies are happy babies.

Babies & Equipment

Photo Credit: Dana Clover Photography

When we were blessed with J, we literally had two hours to prepare and first time parents. Needless to say, it was a scramble and most of our equipment was handed down or lent to us. With G, we had 9 months to prepare and he is our second so we {kind of} knew what we would need/want. There have been so many times after using the stuff we have for G that I'd wished we had it for J. Here are my top ten baby must-haves:

1. Mamaroo

• It will cost you a pretty penny, but oh my is it worth it! G uses this everyday and it's the secret for him taking a long nap in the afternoon. I can get him to fall asleep in my arms then transfer him to this and with the constant movement, he doesn't even notice. With J, I would have to stand at his crib and rock it for hours. Once I stopped, he would wake up. The Mamaroo would have been gold with J, and is working out so well for G! 

2. 4Moms Bathtub

• There were times with J that Tim would think the water was too hot and times that I thought the water was too cold. This takes all the guessing out of it! No need to worry if your baby is freezing or being scorched, which gives a peace of mind when your washing that precious little newborn. I also like that clean water is constantly flowing in and dirty water is flowing out. There are so many times that G pees during the bath and I don't have to wonder if I'm washing him with pee water (yuck!). 

3. Rock-N-Play

• We were gifted this when we were blessed with J, and he slept in it until he was about 8 months. For G, this has replaced the traditional bassinet and he's slept in it since the day we brought him home. The main attribute I love about it is that it's inclined. There are lots of babies who struggle with acid reflux and your doctor will recommend keeping the baby at an incline. That can become tricky in a crib, and J often would just roll to the bottom on the crib before we had him sleeping in the Rock-N-Play. 

4. Snotsucker

• This is a huge step up from the old bulb sucker! I would have {loved} this for J with all of his respiratory issues as a baby. We have used it for G and it's awesome! The bulb sucker is a guessing game and often isn't powerful enough to get all the stubborn snot out of a baby's nose. With the Snotsucker you can see the snot coming out since it's clear and you control how powerful the suction is.  

5. Bumbo

• We used this with J and now with G. It serves multiple purposes! It allows your baby to sit independently when they aren't quite ready to sit up on their own. The tray is useful because then this can be used as a place to put cheerios, toys, or a feeding tray. We also used this so man times for when J was crawling but needed to sit still for breathing treatments. I love that it's easy to carry from room-to-room and I even bring it outside since it wipes clean. 

6. Tummy Time Mat

• We got this for G as a gift and use it daily. The pillow is wonderful to prop him up and give him a little extra encouragement to raise his head. Not only that, but it seems to be more comfortable than laying on our wood floors. 

7. Soothie Pacifiers

• J was never really got into pacifiers, but when he would take one it was the soothie. I have found that G likes these the best as well. Also, I like that the design is all-in-one so that you don't have to worry about the baby sucking off the nipple part. (I've read some crazy stories about this happening and baby gagging on the piece that falls in their mouth.)

8. Lillebaby 6-in-1 Carrier

• No need to buy new carriers when baby gets bigger! This grows with your baby, which makes it so worth the investment. I enjoy the simple design because I would get confused by those wraps! There is also a ton of support and I have yet to feel sore any where when I've worn G in this for hours. 

9. Graco Click Connect Stroller

• Oh my goodness! I {love} that I can grab the car seat out of the van and click it right into the stroller. This has made life easier when I pick up J from preschool, go on walks, or go for quick errands. When J was a baby, we were constantly lugging around that heavy, awkward car seat which is great for your forearms but terrible for your back. 

10. Baby Aquaphor

• Rash? Get the Aquaphor! Chapped lips? Aquaphor! Dry skin? Aquaphor! Cradle cap? Aquaphor! Get the picture? We use it all. the. time. 

Disclaimer: You don't need any of this stuff to raise a happy, healthy baby. These are only items that I've found to make raising a baby easier. I'm all about easy!