It was a typical winter day. There was a dusting of snow on the ground and we were out running errands. We were on our way home when Tim's phone rang with an unfamiliar number. When Tim answered, his face immediately changed. I could see him processing some very shocking information, but I didn't know what it was. He finally said, "A 3 month old baby boy?" I knew right then that this was it. Ten days earlier we had received our foster care license and it was actually happening in that moment. Tim asked the caller for a moment to discuss the details with me, put his hand over the phone, and looked at me wide-eyed. He stated, "They have a 3-month-old baby boy and they are on their way to our home if we accept." We had always wondered how easy or difficult it would be to pull the trigger and accept our first placement. Without even thinking, I replied, "Of course! Yes, oh my gosh. This is happening, Tim!" All Tim could do was smile and relay our answer.
We rushed home and Tim sprinted to the garage to gather all the items we had stocked up for a baby. (Funny fact: He was running so fast that he ended up needing a puff of his inhaler!) While he was doing that, I sorted all the items and called my sister to ask, “What do 3 month old babies do? Do they eat food? Do they play with toys?” She chuckled and said, “Nope, they basically still do everything a newborn does. Sleep, eat, and poop.”
Our home was a mess with all the chaos of trying to organize our items and then trying to figure out what we still needed. We decided to wait until the baby arrived before one of us would go shopping for the other things we knew he’d need. We sat at our dining room table and stared out the window. I can take myself back so easily to the feelings of anticipation and excitement while sitting there waiting for the car to come. Tim and I didn’t do much talking, but when we did it was:
“Can you believe this is happening?”
“I wonder what he looks like.”
Then suddenly the car pulled in our driveway. Tim went out and helped carry J in. He was sound asleep in the car seat so Tim placed the car seat on the couch. Tim took off the blanket that was over top and there he was—a beautiful baby boy with more hair than Tim could ever dream of! It was love at first sight. The paperwork was filled out and we were given the court date, then the caseworker left.
Tim took J over to the Christmas tree and his eyes lit up! Tim started crying and in front of the Christmas tree we fell to our knees, embraced with J in the middle of us, and wept tears of joy and sorrow. Joy because it now made sense why we felt called into foster care. It was for him. All of the classes, applications, paperwork, interviews, phone calls, tough conversations, and prayers were for J. I remember in that moment saying, “He is the reason. He is it.” In the midst of the joy, though, there was sorrow. Sorrow for what he so obviously endured.
Soon after, J was clearly getting hungry. I remember feeding him that first bottle. As he guzzled it down, he stared directly in my eyes and I stared directly back at him—this was the moment that I became a mother.
+ If you are interested in learning more about adoption and the services we provide at Christian Adoption Consultants, I would love to chat! Feel free to email me at meg@christianadoptionconsultant.com. +
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