Excuses

Tim and I have heard a million excuses of why people don't do foster care or adopt or become a safe family when they find out about our family story. Don't get us wrong, we also went through these same excuses when we started our journey. One fact always seemed to trump all of our excuses - the kids are worth it.

1. If they were taken away from me, it would hurt me too much.

This is a valid point. It will hurt. However, if you are truly called into foster care/adoption/safe families, it isn't about you and your feelings. It's about the children who have been through hell and need a refuge. It's about being a safe place. It's about showing children love, real unconditional love. Every minute you spend with them will make a huge difference not only in their life right now, but in their life to come.

2. I couldn't handle visitations or interacting with the birth parent(s).

Again, Tim and I thought the same thing at first but God has humbled us. You realize that {most} all parents, no matter what mistakes they have made, love their children. I mean if my life would have been slightly different, I wouldn't be that far from them. What if I grew up in foster care? What if all I did was witness abuse of my older siblings as a child? What if I was abused? Many times, the things that cause children to be in foster care is a cycle in the family. It's a learned behavior and we are blessed that we never had to learn it. By no means am I giving excuses for their actions, but to demonize the entire person is wrong.

3. There are so many risks and unknowns.

This is completely true. In foster care and safe families, the child will come to you and all you might know is their age, gender, name, and a vague reason of why they are coming to you. That's it. To be honest, this was all we knew for about the first month with J. It's okay, though; we survived. We focused on simply caring for the needs of this sweet baby. That's why we got into this for anyway, right? To take care of children who needed a nurturing home for an unknown amount of time. In adoption, you will get a snippet of the situation as a whole before you make a decision to present. I know it can be scary to think of a baby being born exposed or with a history of mental illness, because it is a risk. Here's the thing about these risks, though, you have to account for the power of God and modern medicine. 

I'm begging you. If you feel called to be a foster parent or adoptive parent or safe family, do it. Take action. There are so many children who need you. As a matter of fact, we were only licensed for 10 days and were placed. The need is so great and these children are more than worth your time and love.

+ If you are interested in learning more about adoption and the services we provide at Christian Adoption Consultants, I would love to chat! Feel free to email me at meg@christianadoptionconsultant.com. +