Brown Eyes & Blue Eyes

We were cuddling in his bed when he looked me and said, "Mommy, you have blue eyes." I was a little taken aback because he's never noticed before but I responded by saying, "Yes, I do. What color are your eyes?" Without missing a beat, he exclaimed, "Blue!"

To be honest, my heart ached for a moment. I gently corrected him by saying, "Nope, you have brown eyes. I love your brown eyes!" That was the end of the conversation and I thought maybe it was a one time thing. You know, just something he noticed and he could move on from.

However, the next day as I was making dinner and the whole family was hanging out in the kitchen, he randomly said, "Griffin has blue eyes. Daddy has blue eyes. Mommy has blue eyes. But I have brown eyes." I looked at Tim and saw tears welling up. The only thing I could come up with in the moment was, "Yes, you're right. But do you know who else in our family has brown eyes?" He didn't know and so I rattled off all the family members that have brown eyes too. This seemed to appease his curiosity but I am still here two weeks later wondering if I handled it correctly.

You see, it's starting. The questions. The noticing of differences. What I want him to know is that without his brown eyes, he wouldn't be him. If he grew in my womb, he wouldn't be Jacob. I love him and his brown eyes. His tan skin (admittedly I'm jealous of this). His huge smile. His extroverted personality. His determination. His gusto for life.

Although he'll never hear the words "You look like your dad", my heart yearns for him to feel comfortable in his skin and in our family despite that. Because we know full well, biology does not make a family. God makes families.

+ If you are interested in learning more about adoption and the services we provide at Christian Adoption Consultants, I would love to chat! Feel free to email me at meg@christianadoptionconsultant.com. +