When She Made an Adoption Plan

It's been 7 years since she first made an adoption plan. That day in court was heart wrenching, especially for her. What I want J (and E) to know is that...

This wasn’t easy for her.

It took her years to get to this decision. It was not made in haste. When we got inside the court room and the judge began asking the clarifying questions, we could hear her voice crack with every “yes”. I got enough courage to look up from my feet to look at her face and it was obvious – this was shattering her heart. The tears began to fall and the “yes” responses still came but they continued to get tougher.

She made a plan out of selfless love.

She didn’t sign what they call a “general surrender”; instead, she signed a “specific surrender”. This meant that she was only signing with the plan that we would proceed to adopt J. She wasn’t willing to just let anyone adopt him, and we are honored that she trusts us enough to raise her son. This plan was made out of selfless love, because what we all learn when we have children is that raising a child involves more than simply love. It’s complicated, unfortunately. She recognized that and chose J's well-being over her own.

She wanted you to have an involved father.

Mama E explained that what solidified in her mind of making an adoption plan was when she saw the way J and Tim interacted. She saw how much Tim loved J and how much J loved him. She didn’t want to take J away from a loving, involved father. This is just another example of her selfless love. She was willing to set herself aside in order to provide J something that she couldn’t give him at the time.

She loves you.

I’ve seen this since the first day in court back in December of 2012. I still see it in the questions she asks about J. When he was a baby, she'd ask about music classes, his favorite foods, how he interacts with other kids, and how he was developing. Even to this day, she wants to know what he into and how well he is doing in school. Every time J video calls her, she answers with a huge smile and ends the conversation with a "love you". It is such a gift to him and E that they'll grow up knowing the love of their birth mother!

+ If you are interested in learning more about adoption and the services we provide at Christian Adoption Consultants, I would love to chat! Feel free to email me at meg@christianadoptionconsultant.com. +

*Photos shared with permission of their brave birth mother*