Bathtub Conversations

The first conversation I had with J about adoption was when he was nearly 3 years old and in the bathtub happy as a clam. In the middle of all of his splashing and playing, he shouted out, “My mama!” This wasn’t uncommon as he often did this when he met new people or when I would pick him up from daycare. He wanted everyone to know that I’m his mama. To be honest, it melted me every time. This particular time it melted me as usual and I said back, “And you’re my son!”

However, right after I was surprised to hear myself say, “Did you know that you have two mamas? Pretty cool, huh?” He looked at me a little confused but agreed by nodding his head and replying, “Cool!” I elaborated and said, “You were inside your other mama’s tummy!” He giggled, looked at his tummy and said, “Eww! In tummy!?” I giggled back and said, “Sure were. And that mama’s name is Mama E.” He then repeated me by saying her name.

I encouraged him to get out of the tub so that I could show him a picture in his room. It was one of the quickest times he’s ever got out of the tub! Upon getting to his room I brought down a picture frame with a sweet photo of his birth mama and him as a baby. I repeated to him again, “Mama E.” He then pointed at the lady in the picture holding him and said, “Mommy.” Before tears could come down my face I said, “Yep! That’s your mommy who grew you in her tummy. Then a little bit after you were born you came to live with this mama.” As he pointed at me, he said, “Yea! My mama!”

I knew it was only the first of many, many conversations yet to come. I also realize now that these conversations get deeper and harder for him. There are more questions now. Questions, that many, we don’t have the answer to. Part of me wishes it could stay that simple of one mommy gave birth and the mother mommy raised you. But that isn’t enough as he grows and discovers more. It’s daunting, really.

What I do know, though, is that God made him for a purpose. If he grew in my tummy, he wouldn’t be uniquely him. He had to grow in her tummy to become who God designed him to be. On the flip side, he was meant to be our son too.  We instill in him many other unique characteristics that come from nurturing. Without the both of us in his life, he wouldn’t become who he’s meant to be. I pray he learns to appreciate and understand that as he continues to process his story throughout his lifetime.

+ If you are interested in learning more about adoption and the services we provide at Christian Adoption Consultants, I would love to chat! Feel free to email me at meg@christianadoptionconsultant.com. +